Why spending more time thinking about YOU versus them will make your Relationship better.



In other words? Clean up your side of the street.


It really is the most effective way to resolve conflict - because how else can you get someone to understand you if you're not able to understand yourself?


Bring it back around to you. Then everything else can fall into place.


We usually spend time noticing what they didn't say/do or how they didn't meet our expectations in one way or another. If we do this long enough, it festers and conversations can turn into arguments.


The approach then is to blame and point fingers - not the best way to keep a relationship strong.


Now, there's nothing wrong obviously with disagreements and occasional arguments. What matters is how you move past it.


So with that in mind, next time you find yourself automatically getting upset with them, think about you first - what you're feeling and why.


Then structure the way you talk to them like this...


- Say how you feel

- Explain why you feel this way

- Ask for what you need/want


Example: I feel frustrated that you didn't do the laundry because it makes me think you don't care to help. I'd like it if you can do the laundry next time like we agreed so that I don't have to, and I can take care of over things.


You said how you feel, why you feel this way, and what you'd like them to do. This removes the blaming, finger-pointing or shaming and provides a rational way to get what you need.


It's not what you say - it's how you say it.


Try it out!


xo, Natalia

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